It has been almost three months since his passing and I find that the grief remains, although in a different form. Thus, I am reminded of something I heard in the movie called Possession that was based on the novel of the same name and was written by A.S. Byatt. What I heard describes my present sentiments perfectly--they are the words written in a letter by Christabel LaMotte to her estranged lover, Randolph Henry Ash just before his passing (both characters are fictional poets in the novel). I think of you again with clear love...
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Today I honor the memory of someone who recently left this earth and is resting in the glorious peace of God. Although I miss him profoundly, I find comfort in sweet memories of him and in his words. He often boasted that there was NOTHING I could ever say or do to make him stop loving me and although I never told him, I felt the same way about him. He was a talented storyteller and poet and I want to share two poems that he wrote as a gift for me many years ago. The two poems not in quotes were written by me--the first one in response to one of his poems and the second one, I wrote years later on his birthday after dreaming of him. As I read his poems just now, it seems that our roles have been reversed and so, I feel the absence of his presence; I pine and ache. My poems remain apropos because I do indeed pray that he continue to haunt my dreams. Missing You Haunting
You haunt my dreams when the moon is full, and my heart receptive. You hover above my body and kiss my mouth like a hummingbird sucking nectar from a flower. Oh, haunt me again for your lips are of honey, sweet and thick– your whispers like the wind, rustling through the leaves in a forest on a hot summer day. Oh haunt me again– I pray. Untitled 07/08/1990 (Written on his birthday) How is it, and why – after so many years, you can still reach deep into my subconscious and appear to me in my dreams? With vividness and life, unmatched by reality, you touch me. I taste. I feel – the sweet fullness of your lips, the gentle force between your thighs, the curves and hollows of your body. I look into your eyes – full of passion, and me. We lock and sigh. Satiated and calm, I close my eyes and await another dream. Well, not much in art, unfortunately for me. I've been working my "regular job" and have been quite busy. It is not art-related, but it pays the bills and I certainly draw inspiration from encounters and stories as well. I am grateful that while my job was indeed affected by COVID-19, I was able to continue working during the onset of COVID.
I had been saving my vacation to go to England for a group exhibit to which I was invited, but that is not happening for a while due to COVID. Consequently, my vacation will be used to make some art and I must say, I really need to–I have gone far too long without some visual creativity. Those of you who know me and my work, also know that I do collage not only because I love the medium, but because it lends itself to the fantastical and this allows my imagination to run freely. Here's a small collage I created today for fun, to tap into my imagination, and hopefully get some creativity flowing :) An update on the previous post. Unfortunately, I didn't get a great response, but I shall look at the positive side:
That said, this is what I ended up with after posting my first line, "She engaged in elaborate rituals". She engaged in elaborate rituals. That filled her with great remorse. Sobriety grew from remorse. Her speech became disjointed, tangled as she extricated herself from daily necessities. Which (in essence) were sporadic dichotomies of futility! I did not change anything—it is what it is and collaboration was the purpose and in that collaboration—I have found someone, just one person with whom to collaborate. My first contribution to that collaboration is the first violet line: Leaving him to his own devices only added to her woes. Her reluctant acquiescence always entices his enigmatic emulation of "macho". I have been contemplating a digital "exquisite corpse" of sorts for quite some time. If you are unfamiliar with "exquisite corpse", briefly, it is a game originally called "Le cadavre exquis boira le vin nouveau", (The exquisite corpse shall drink new wine). It was played by the surrealists, André Breton, Marcel Duchamp, and Yves Tanguy among others, as a form of diversion. It is a game in which participants collaborate in a creation that is collectively assembled using images or words, in this case, we will use words—specifically, sentences. In the spirit of the exquisite corpse drinking new wine, I will write the first line. As the next collaborator, click on "comments" and complete the form. Your name and email WILL NOT BE SHARED. As comments come in, I will post and delete the comment. All contributions will be shared in the order in which they are received until the collective creation is complete. It will be deemed complete when contributions cease.
Here is the first line: She engaged in elaborate rituals. That filled her with great remorse. Sobriety grew from remorse. Her speech became disjointed, tangled as she extricated herself from daily necessities. Which (in essence) were sporadic dichotomies of futility! I am very grateful and honored to have been invited by Dr. Jane Lavery and Dr. Sarah Bowskill to participate in their research project. I apologize for taking so long to post these videos—nevertheless, here are English and Spanish versions explaining their project. They were created for Dr. Jane Lavery of Southampton University, Southampton, England and Dr. Sarah Bowskill of Queens University, Belfast, Ireland for their research project on the Multimedia Works of Contemporary Spanish American Women Artists and Writers. I have had the pleasure of participating in the National Museum of Mexican Art's Day of the Dead exhibits on 3 previous occasions. The past exhibits in which I was involved were very "traditional" in content displaying a large variety of altars (ofrendas), as well as paintings, and sculptures, honoring the memory of the deceased. Día de Muertos: A Spiritual Legacy is just as traditional, yet inspired by the Mesoamerican shaft tombs in which individuals were buried with objects and gear for the next life. While the exhibit has ofrendas, and other works of art typically displayed in Day of the Dead exhibits, it also includes work with a slight variation. In my opinion, this work approaches the subject matter from the viewpoint of the departed by specifically exploring the question, "What would you take with you when you die?" Thirty artists were invited to participate—we were all given a “veliz”, a suitcase, to use in any way we desired in response to the question posed. The exhibit opened Friday, September 21, and will continue through December 9, 2018. Hope you can see the exhibit and support the National Museum of Mexican Art. About the Piece
Personally, I do not believe that when I die, I will simply cease to exist and although this belief is viewed as naïve by many, I have faith that when I take my last breath, my spirit will leave my body and instantly be in heaven with my memory intact—memories of my life and of those I have loved. Therefore, in response to the question: “What would you take with you when you die?”, I would take 3 intangibles: faith in my God’s promise of eternal life, memories of events and experiences of my life here on earth, and finally, love for family and friends. P.S. Special thanks to my brother Javier Acevedo, for helping me with power tool “challenges”, or my ineptitude. Although I was invited to participate, I could not; therefore, I asked Jesse Arseneau to create this video for the Society for Latin American Studies Annual Conference held at the University of Southampton's Winchester in March of this year. |
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