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A series of small, quick , “mindful” self-reflective work completed during the pandemic—an epoch, which I consider the most challenging of my life for many of the same reasons that others do also—many of us experienced fear, isolation, confusion, anger, sadness, and loss. These works were completed from late November 2020 to March 2021. I updated the post as I completed a new piece. I am better off for having done this “art therapy” and now, I can move forward.
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This is a poem by Maria Sabina Magdalena Garcia, a healer. I had no idea who she was until a saw a painting of her by a very talented artist, Javier Chavira. It was years ago, but it is my understanding that it is still part of the National Museum of Mexican Art's permanent collection in Chicago. It is an extraordinary painting titled Maria Sabina: I am Woman of Light--a must see in person. artsandculture.google.com/asset/maria-sabina-i-am-woman-of-light-javier-chavira/eAG6Ap2RlulXpA?hl=en Cúrate mijita, con la luz del sol y los rayos de la luna. It has been almost three months since his passing and I find that the grief remains, although in a different form. Thus, I am reminded of something I heard in the movie called Possession, which was based on the novel of the same name and written by A.S. Byatt. What I heard describes my present sentiments perfectly--they are the words written in a letter by Christabel LaMotte to her estranged lover, Randolph Henry Ash just before his passing (both characters are fictional poets in the novel). I think of you again with clear love... Today I honor the memory of someone who recently left this earth and is resting in peace. Although I miss him profoundly, I find comfort in sweet memories of him and in his words. He often boasted that there was NOTHING I could ever say or do to make him stop loving me and although I never told him, I felt the same way about him. He was a talented storyteller and poet and I want to share two poems that he wrote as a gift for me many years ago. The two poems not in quotes were written by me--the first one in response to one of his poems and the second one, I wrote years later on his birthday after dreaming of him. As I read his poems just now, it seems that our roles have been reversed and so, I feel the absence of his presence; I pine and ache. My poems remain apropos because I do indeed pray that he continue to haunt my dreams. Missing You Haunting You haunt my dreams when the moon is full, and my heart receptive. You hover above my body and kiss my mouth like a hummingbird sucking nectar from a flower. Oh, haunt me again for your lips are of honey, sweet and thick– your whispers like the wind, rustling through the leaves in a forest on a hot summer day. Oh haunt me again– I pray. Soul Tie 07/08/1990 (Written on his birthday) How is it; why, after so many years you can still reach deep into my subconscious and appear to me in my dreams? With vividness unmatched by reality, you touch me. I taste I feel the sweetness, the fullness of your lips, the gentle force of your thighs-- your curves and hollows. Your eyes tell our story and our souls lock eternally satiated and serene. My eyes close and I await another dream... Obsession Like incessant hunger pangs thoughts of you do not leave me. They throb within my being and gnaw away at my soul-- slowly consuming who I was before. Untitled and undated My hope is that this be mutual obsession that incessantly tugs at my heart at night and not merely self-obsession that deludes me and drives me to this state of mind at daylight. Or could it be that you conjure me up simply to create in me this endless preoccupation for what purpose I do not know. Might you be a sorcerer or is my soul just unwilling to ever let go? Well, not much in art, unfortunately for me. I've been working my "regular job" and have been quite busy. It is not art-related, but it pays the bills and I certainly draw inspiration from encounters and stories as well. I am grateful that while my job was indeed affected by COVID-19, I was able to continue working during the onset of COVID. I had been saving my vacation to go to England for a group exhibit to which I was invited, but that is not happening for a while due to COVID. Consequently, my vacation will be used to make some art and I must say, I really need to–I have gone far too long without some visual creativity. Those of you who know me and my work, also know that I do collage not only because I love the medium, but because it lends itself to the fantastical and this allows my imagination to run freely. Here's a small collage I created today for fun, to tap into my imagination, and hopefully get some creativity flowing :)  An update on the previous post. Unfortunately, I didn't get a great response, but I shall look at the positive side:
That said, this is what I ended up with after posting my first line, "She engaged in elaborate rituals". She engaged in elaborate rituals. That filled her with great remorse. Sobriety grew from remorse. Her speech became disjointed, tangled as she extricated herself from daily necessities. Which (in essence) were sporadic dichotomies of futility! I did not change anything—it is what it is and collaboration was the purpose and in that collaboration—I have found someone, just one person with whom to collaborate. My first contribution to that collaboration is the first violet line: Leaving him to his own devices only added to her woes. Her reluctant acquiescence always entices his enigmatic emulation of "macho". I have been contemplating a digital "exquisite corpse" of sorts for quite some time. If you are unfamiliar with "exquisite corpse", briefly, it is a game originally called "Le cadavre exquis boira le vin nouveau", (The exquisite corpse shall drink new wine). It was played by the surrealists, André Breton, Marcel Duchamp, and Yves Tanguy among others, as a form of diversion. It is a game in which participants collaborate in a creation that is collectively assembled using images or words, in this case, we will use words—specifically, sentences. In the spirit of the exquisite corpse drinking new wine, I will write the first line. As the next collaborator, click on "comments" and complete the form. Your name and email WILL NOT BE SHARED. As comments come in, I will post and delete the comment. All contributions will be shared in the order in which they are received until the collective creation is complete. It will be deemed complete when contributions cease.
Here is the first line: She engaged in elaborate rituals. That filled her with great remorse. Sobriety grew from remorse. Her speech became disjointed, tangled as she extricated herself from daily necessities. Which (in essence) were sporadic dichotomies of futility! I am very grateful and honored to have been invited by Dr. Jane Lavery and Dr. Sarah Bowskill to participate in their research project. I apologize for taking so long to post these videos—nevertheless, here are English and Spanish versions explaining their project. They were created for Dr. Jane Lavery of Southampton University, Southampton, England and Dr. Sarah Bowskill of Queens University, Belfast, Ireland for their research project on the Multimedia Works of Contemporary Spanish American Women Artists and Writers. |
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